Silly Joe Sings!

 

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  • Jul 26 William Jeanes Memorial Library Lafayett Hill, PA
     
  • Jul 26 United Sports Summer Camp Downingtown, PA
     
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Silly Joe Writes!

Books!  Books!  Books! 

Coming soon from Schiffer Books, Big Billy and the Ice Cream Truck that Woudln't Stop! 

Like Big Billy?  Check out my buddy Joe Simko's work.  He's the illustrator of Big Billy with a series of his own called Sweet Rot.

Looking for something more adult?  Here's a novel for teens and adults called Sporks!  about life in an all boys Catholic School.  If you went there, you'll understand.

Silly Joe
Music and Lyrics by Joe Consiglio

Story

When our son was little, the church ladies couldn't keep their hands out of his curly hair.  One Sunday he growled at an old lady who called him cute.  I thought it was a great response.  So I wrote this song for him and for all the other cute kids that grown ups won't leave alone.

Lyrics

Everybody Wants to Pinch My Cheeks!

Guitar chords: E-A-B

They don’t ask; no they don’t bother.

They don’t ask my mother, don’t ask my father.

They sneak up on me those dirty creeps.

Cause everybody wants to pinch my cheeks! (4x)


They stick their fingers in my hair.

I tell ‘em no, but they don’t care.

They make cuddly noises like “squeak, squeak squeak,”

Cause everybody wants to pinch my cheeks! (8x)


Aunts and uncles, neighbors, cousins,

They attack me by the dozens.

I thing they’re a bunch of freaks!

Cause everybody wants to pinch my cheeks! (8x)

Silly Joe
Music and Lyrics by Joe Consiglio

Story

I was taking Lizzie to a swim lesson, a task my wife usually performed, when Lizzie said, "Daddy I like riding in your car."  I sensed a backhanded compliment, but I needed to know, so I asked why.  She said, "Because you don't care if the lollipop sticks to the seat."  The verses are a description of my car on that particular day.

But the chorus is from my own childhood.  My dad used to take us down to Union Street for water ice on hot summer evenings.  He always had papers from the credit union and sheet music from the church choir floating around the back seat.  The car had vinyl seats and no air conditioning, so the windows were always down, and the papers flew.  But he never cared.

We recorded the song using my dad's ukulele.  My mom had given it to me when my dad fell ill.  Before we recorded the vocals my producer Brett and I spent a long time talking about our dads.  Brett had lost his dad to cancer.  At a certain point, we both grew silent.  So I said, let's go sing.  If you listen to the voices in the chorus, you'll hear the love we were feeling for our own dads.  After all these years, this is still my favorite Silly Joe song and recording.

Lyrics

Dad’s Car

Guitar Chords: C-G-D

It’s not like Mom’s van. 

It’s not exactly spic-n-span.

He’s got balled up tissues by his feet,

And an REM tape under the seat.

It’s Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car.


He’s got Burger King wrappers everywhere. 

They spill out the doors but he don’t care.

Four pair of sunglasses he can’t find,

Four hundred receipts and a ball of twine.

It’s Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car.

It’s Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car.


We’re riding with the windows down,

Stuff flying ‘round in Dad’s car, Dad’s car.

We never get too far,

Just cruisin’ town in Dad’s car.


He’s got old newspapers in the trunk,

Assorted tools and other junk,

A box of stuff from ’93,

Old smelly shoes and a gift for me.

It’s Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car.

It’s Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car, Dad’s car.

Silly Joe
Music and Lyrics by Joe Consiglio

Story

I asked my son for help folding laundry.  He said folding laundry was boring.  So I  put boxers on my head and started singing.  What came out became my most popular song.  I played it that same day on a big stage in Newtown Square.  My three year old daughter climbed up on stage with me and sang along.  That day I became known as the guy with boxer shorts on his head.  Try to explain that on a resume.

Lyrics

The Underwear Song

Guitar chords: D-G-A (3x) D-G-A-A7

Don’t look up top.  Don’t look down there.

It’s under here.  It’s underwear.

Sometimes they’re big. Sometimes they’re skinny.

They might be pink. They might be Jimmy’s.

Chorus

 

They cover up everybody’s fanny.

They might be your sister’s. They might be your granny’s.

Sometimes they’re clean.  Sometimes they’re dirty.

Don’t talk about it, if you’re over thirty.

Chorus

Silly Joe
Music and Lyrics by Joe Consiglio

Story

My son's six year old friend Danny told this story in the back of my car on our way to a karate lesson.  "Hey Joey, you won't believe what happened.  My fish died, and my mom flushed it down the toilet, but it didn't go down, so I pooped on it."  Enough said.

Lyrics

The Ballad Poor Gil

Guitar chords: D-G-C

Poor Gil, he can’t swim anymore.

He just floats, and to eat is a chore.

His belly shines at the top of the bowl.

Mom said, he can’t stay there no more.


Poor Gil, he just floats round the rim.

Poor Gil, the green net’s come for him.

It’s time.  My mom told me that it’s for the best.

One flush, off to his final rest.


Chorus

Poor Gil, he was always so good to me.

Poor Gil, but I guess it was meant to be.

Poor Gil, my mom called it a burial at sea,

And now, I think of him when I have to pee.

Silly Joe
Music and Lyrics by Joe Consiglio

Story

Our youngest was just a few days old when I went to the party store to buy an "It's a Girl!" sign for the front yard.  In the checkout, I found a CD of father/daughter wedding dance songs.  With two girls, I figured someday I'd need one of these songs.  So I looked them over, and none of them said what I wanted them to say.  So I went home and wrote this song for my girls. 

Lyrics

Grow if You Must

Guitar chords: D-G-A

 

And everyday, you learn something new,

Something you say, something you do.

And everyday, I wonder at the million ways you’ve grown.

 

Not long ago, you came unto me,

Quiet and small, a wonder to see.

And now I wonder, I wonder where all the days have gone,

And so I say,

 

Grow if you must.  Go your own way.

First you crawl then you walk then you talk,

Then you leave me someday.

Grow if you must.  It’s only natural to do.

But tonight, let me hold on to you.